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I want to be alone alone with you5/28/2023 Or maybe you will find that while you are fond of him, you dread coming home. Maybe you will discover after a while that you miss the company of your guy. No, your husband won’t like it, but it won’t kill him (sorry), and you’re an adult who’s entitled to a lengthy, solo vacation. So pick a city you’ve always wanted to know better and stay by yourself there for two weeks, even a month. ![]() Airbnb makes it easy to try on other people’s lives. But there is a range of options that will give you more than a night or two of alone time without your having to fantasize about the death of your beloved husband. But you are mistakenly formulating your desires as a binary choice: that either you take off for the opposite coast without a return ticket, or else remain forced to putter around with your husband and dogs ad infinitum. Since you mention nothing about work duties or financial concerns, I’m going to assume you stayed home with the kids and that there’s enough money for you to easily fund your fantasy. More than that, you sound like you have the soul of a Greta Garbo and you just long to be alone. Is this impulse bizarre and unhealthy? Is it a phase I should just grit my teeth and barrel through? Is it something that will eat away at me until I get off my ass and do it? Can I do it without hurting him too much?Īfter spending your youth wiping mouths and bottoms and attending to the needs of others, I can understand your desire to experience the single girl years that you missed-or, as you note, perhaps an early taste of widowhood. I also imagine that someday I will probably be widowed and have exactly what I’m dreaming of, and at that point I’ll miss him terribly and feel foolish for wanting this now. I’ve tried to talk him into getting separate bedrooms for years, and he refuses. Part of me also feels guilty for wanting this because my husband is adamant that he wouldn’t want to be without me. I would probably want to come home after a while-a year, maybe two-but who knows? I might love living alone too much to give it up. I wish I had an excuse like a job offer or degree program far away to make such a move possible. I order room service, binge watch movies, and just revel in my solitude. I’ve been finding excuses to travel solo simply because staying by myself in a hotel is the closest thing to fulfilling my fantasy. I have no desire to find another man I just want to be alone. I wouldn’t mind if my husband and children visited, but there’s something in me that craves distance and my own space. I dream of finding a small apartment, furnishing it exactly as I want, leaving a mess when I don’t feel like cleaning up, eating whatever and whenever I want, and basically being a single girl in my 20s, minus the dating and insecurities. I have recurring fantasies of just leaving everything behind, moving to the other coast, and starting over all by myself. We’re still in love, and everything should be perfect. It’s now 25 years later and the kids are off to college, our life together is comfortable. ![]() My husband and I met very young and had kids right away. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the live discussion. Got a burning question for Prudie? She’ll be online here on Slate to chat with readers next Tuesday at noon. Please send your questions for publication to. Get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week click here to sign up.
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